Saturday, April 16, 2016

Two Lesbian Women and I

A True Story. (No Sexual Content)

 In the old days I knew two women, both young, and in their early twenties. Let’s just call them A and A.

When I first came to know about their being lesbian, I was shocked. I took it upon myself to try and talk them out of it. Feeling virtuous, I thought I would speak to them face to face. No back-biting from this girl!

I knocked on A's door and was invited in. The other A was there. The rumours must be true, I thought. Being of a delicate disposition I asked them bluntly if they were a couple. Their faces went white. They didn't know what to say.
Who would, in similar circumstances? Imagine an interfering old aunt asking a heterosexual couple something similar. That's how I must have come across to them. 

(Of course, the recent case of the Mumbai police barging in on heterosexual couples checked into hotels, and carting them off to the chowki for questioning, making them pay fines to boot, defies every premise of a free society and consenting adults. Let's leave police being leveraged by leaders to 'mind our morals', for another day)

That the two As and I were more than just acquaintances meant they must have responded politely. I don't remember the exact words we exchanged as this was long ago, in the seventies. I do remember entreating them earnestly, not to deny two wonderful boys the opportunity of a lifetime of happiness with two such wonderful girls.

I still remember being nonplussed by their simple and eloquent response. “But we are happy.” 

My mind couldn't take that in. The argument went round and round. As far as I remember, they weren't rude, nor were they angry. Hopefully, they sensed an absence of hatred or anger in me, too. 

I was concerned and eager to make them see what I sincerely believed; that only members of the opposite sex could make them happy. 

I HAD NEVER HEARD OF, LEAVE ALONE SEEN, OTHERWISE. 

in other words, mine was conviction borne of ignorance and it made me incapable of listening. I know. I agree. I was dumb, foolish, young and ignorant. Mainly ignorant. I

They based their arguments on feelings of deep love, each for the other.

I went away, disappointed that I hadn't convinced them.

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There is a glut of information that is easily accessible now. Yet, ignorance exists. Why? Too many people don’t wish to go near that information. They don’t want to know either through a lack of interest or through fear of reprisals. 

This is what I feel - the more engagement there is between heterosexuals and homosexuals, the less homophobes and their phobia will matter. The engagement could be through a movie or a book, an article or a Youtube video. It doesn't matter. It is time we joined the conversation. 



#TimeWeJoinedTheConversation

In some countries, people fear political parties that whip up sentiments against the LGBTQ community. Fear keeps them quiet. They know individuals belonging to these parties believe they are above the law. They know these individuals are capable of violence if their will isn't done. As for those vocal homophobes, they have kept easygoing, non-interfering Indians mum for far too long.   


Sexual Orientation Doesn't Matter. These are loving partners and
parents.


In India, I’ve seen a mix. The best are the ones to whom someone’s sexual orientation doesn’t matter. They like people for their sense of humour or their thoughtfulness or knowledge of a particular subject or any number of reasons. In short, for who they are. The worst are the ones who feed on our ignorance and fear, not only to whip up ugly sentiments against the LGBTQ community but to justify violent actions against them.

A and A, I am not as ignorant as I used to be. I know people fall in love with others of the same or the opposite sex. I remember you to be lovely, inside and out. I remember you to be kind and fun. That is all that should have mattered. Forgive me.





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