Monday, May 21, 2012

Older women heroines in Bollywood?

Have you noticed any? If you have, are they the rule or the exception?

Microsoft free clipart
Whether in Bollywood or in real life, it is the young and the beautiful who are the focus of everyone's attention. They are in their prime. They are the healthiest they will ever be for the rest of their lives. They have this incredible energy. They look the best they ever will and their joints don't creak. They haven't grown up enough to realise they aren't the centre of the universe. They are still convinced the world revolves around them.  Youngsters are a curious mix of street savvy, worldly wisdom and idealism which makes us admire them, feel exasperated and at the same time, often ache for their vulnerability.

Take older women, on the other hand. Till not too long ago they were busy being parent, mother, cook and grandmother. They were housebound and used to playing second fiddle. Some of them even had short careers which they gave up after marriage. If they continued with their careers it was at the risk of being judged harshly by society. The verdict was clear. Women wanting to be out amongst their own peers, doing things they enjoyed or earning an income and not slaving at home exclusively for husband and children 24/7 (even if said husband and kids weren't home for 10 of those 24 hours) was very odd behaviour and utterly selfish. That is what television and movies seemed to suggest too. It didn’t matter that the woman who played the typical sacrificial sati savitri on screen might be an alcoholic in real life or that she had a good head on her shoulders when it came to demanding a fee (as she should) for her role. She was venerated for her role and her real life persona was well hidden from public scrutiny. She was held up as an example for women to emulate. Just like those larger than life figures on screen, women were expected to contribute by running a home. They were forced to ignore their need to be out and about amongst peers, ignore the grey matter they were born with and ignore their need to feel self sufficient. Perhaps the poor were the exception as they were driven by other compulsions and needs. 

That was then.

Today more women than ever before are in every field imaginable, contributing as much as men. Take the movies for example. Not only are women actors, they are also scene writers, directors, camerapersons, producers, distributors, editors, studio managers, research experts, location seekers and casting directors. Or they might own actor and actress agencies who supply these artistes to various producers and directors of the hundreds of movies produced each year in Bollywood.

Some women have welcomed the opportunities that have opened up for them eagerly. Yet others are perfectly happy being housewives and have no desire to change the status quo. What's different is that they have the choice. The decision is theirs.

Women who’ve occupied challenging roles in the past have done so, quite often, in spite of having no role models to look up to. The lucky ones have had men who are experienced in the fields they'd like to pursue, help them. I know of a woman who knows the workings of a cycle inside out. She learnt her skill thanks to help from men who learnt such skills from other men as women weren’t, in those days, allowed to have such skills. It was "no job for a woman" and so, no woman had ever thought of being a “cycologist” before.

But often, that hasn’t been the case. Men haven’t been forthcoming for various reasons. Some have felt threatened or insecure. Others have felt pressure from society to get their women to conform to their traditional roles. Whatever the reason, some men have tried to thwart women from reaching their highest potential in roles that were previously considered only for men.

Some women have felt intimidated by these opportunities. Yet others have felt the pressure to confirm to what others believe they should be. Yet others feel they would make a hash of things and are better off wherever they've always been. Whether women have availed of the opportunities that have opened up or not, the mix of compulsions that drove their lives have resulted in the next stage in growth.

The ones who took up the challenges are now able to use many skills to feel fulfilled. Many have an independent income and are capable of supporting themselves. They know how to look after their own finances and their own health. They are not beholden to or dependent on men and have meaningful and rewarding relationships which they enter into only because they really want to. They pick their partners with care - someone who believes in mutual support and understanding; someone who is their best friend just as they are his. They not only have the freedom to be whatever they choose to be, they have the resources. Having the ability to fulfil their own destiny and pursue their own happiness is empowering. This happens to young and old alike.

What's different is that the older women have the confidence to be comfortable with their looks, flaws and all. Their looks don't stop them from living life to the full. Best of all, they have wisdom gained from experience in more than one role. A hasty qualifier – there are always exceptions.

Now, thanks to millions of women in the work force or at home by choice, there are enough role models for the younger ones. They might feel the pressures to conform to what their own families expect of them but they have enough women who have preceded them into different and varied roles whose examples they can uphold and say, “If she could do it and meet with success, if she is perfectly fulfilled and happy, why not I?” The fear of the unknown put into them by others for whatever reasons is easily countered as there are enough brave and confident women who’ve preceded them, who've dared to forge a new path for themselves and come out not only unscathed but also, successful.

If someone had to ask me why older women aren't heroines in Bollywood I would have to say perhaps their time hasn't come and who knows perhaps it will. But in the mean time, they will not only continue playing the anti-heroines, the cruel mothers-in-law or other supporting roles, they will have paved the way for younger women to play a multitude of roles outside their homes with confidence in their creative flair and abilities. To my mind, that is the biggest and most important role they have played. To date.

Isn't that enough grist for the mill, movie makers?

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Teaching Adults to Read and Write - II

When I decided I could spare a couple of hours a week to volunteer I thought I would enjoy teaching. But teaching whom? And what? Through a roundabout route I finally decided that teaching adults to read and write English would be most rewarding.

I went through 6 weeks of training and this post is about a few strategies I learnt in those six weeks as I feel one or two would be useful to anyone who wishes to teach adults to read and write a language.

A qualifier before I start - this post can never replace proper training from an experienced tutor. It can, at best, give a few pointers or strategies for teaching.

In Part I, I talked of the tutor's mindset and approach - how to make the course relevant to the learner's goal, break down the goal into do-able chunks and to make the learner feel relaxed and motivated.

Microsoft free clipart
And now, a few teaching strategies. 
  • First, assess initial knowledge, skills or understanding required by your learner to  decode (or recognise) letters of the alphabet and the sounds associated with them, and encode (or write) them. 
  • If your learner needs to know the language from scratch, don't start teaching the alphabet. Why not? It doesn't tell them anything contextual to their goal. If they can't see the purpose, adults lose interest and drop out. Here's one strategy in such a case (and there's a lot you could think up yourself.) Write down your learner's name, ask what you've written and then read it out. Everyone is interested to see their own name on paper. One word of caution - if the name is long a pet name will do. The rule? Four or five letters maximum.
    • Show your learner each letter of that word and the corresponding sound. Tell them - this is the letter, for example "s" and this, "ssss", is the corresponding sound. Let them understand the difference between the words "letter" and "sound".
  • Following through on this introduction build your course.
    • Show learners the sounds of groups of letters as in "sh, ch, ing, tion" with two or three examples. Ask them if they know any similar words so they are not just taking things in passively but using their own brains actively. Tell them these groups of letters and the sounds they make together (as opposed to the sounds each letter makes individually) are useful to know because they form parts of many words, for example "tion" sounds like "shun" but separately each letter makes different sounds.
    • Sometimes a short vowel sound, for example //a// sounds different as in "fat" to a long vowel sound, as in "fate" That is because of the silent "e" at the end. Give them lots of relevant examples - dot, dote or cut, cute. 
    • Over time, work on various word families as you come across them. (for example, ing, ate, ack, ed, all, unch...)
    • Puntuation is also important. I came across this here - a telling example. "Let's eat, Grandma" versus "Let's eat Grandma".
Reading Strategies: It is easy to get impatient with new readers and just so we don't lose patience here's an exercise for tutors. Read the following passage: Uans oppona taim, ues tri berrese; mamma berre, pappa berre. a bebi berre; live inne contri nire foresta; Naise Aus; No Muccheggia; Unna doi, they go gudia bice....

Was it a struggle? We had to go through a full A4 sheet with the story in our tutoring class. It was a lot of laughs but it was obvious that it was to show us how first time readers struggle. What's letters to us are lines and squiggles to them.

How do we read? Take this example. Dogs love to sw-m. It is easy for most of us to fill in the blank letter. The word is "swim" not "swam" We guess this because the surrounding structure of that sentence gives us a clue. We also guess this accurately because it makes sense.  Here are two more examples. D-nner; E-it.

The coded association of letters and sounds (as described above) and the sentence structure that connects these words is an important strategy.

The meaning of words, phrases, certain signs and symbols is also important. It your learner has prior knowledge of their meanings (if you've picked the topic to read carefully, it will be contextual to the learner's interests)) he or she will learn much faster as they are interested in the topic. Punctuation needs another mention. If they see a comma, show them how to read the pause; a question mark? Let your voice end the sentence a couple of notches higher.

Do you instinctively jump in with a correction if your learner makes a mistake? That isn't helpful as you aren't giving the learner enough time to work things out for themselves. The strategy is to pause and see if the learner self corrects. If not, prompt (give clues). For example, does that make sense? Did that sound right? Which sound does that word begin with? End with? Try reading the sentence again.

The above strategy is known as "Pause, Prompt and Praise." Praise for every little milestone achieved. An example - If the learner spells lady as lad-e, say that is three letters correct out of four. Don't overdo the praise either. Just a quiet "good" or a smile is usually enough.

One last strategy - if the learner is reading and makes mistakes, jot down the words and without interrupting the flow of the story, leave it for now. At the end of the story ask questions about the story for comprehension. The whole object of teaching reading is to ensure your learner comprehends and eventually, is able to discuss what was read. Make an extra effort to make this part of the lesson enjoyable and not something that evokes anxiety. That has to be the tutor's ultimate goal for each and every learner. Finally, go to the words your learner had difficulties with. Teach strategies to recognise these.  Perhaps they fit into a word family, for example, words ending in "y" as in baby are mostly pronounced with a long //e// sound.

A few words of caution - the story should have about 4 - 6 new words maximum. It is a good idea to have the tutor do part of the reading. The learner learns a lot by listening to a reasonably good reader. Ensure your finger points to each word as you read. This is the "Look. Listen" strategy.

For every learner, what's interesting is that the course is built around their individual capabilities and goals. And yet, our ultimate goal for each learner is the same - that they become independent and feel fulfilled; that they feel they can learn anything they set their minds to; that they feel they can contribute to society and express their points of view with confidence.




Sunday, May 6, 2012

Why Discuss Pros and Cons?

Why Discuss Pros and Cons? Why not just the “Pros”? Why give others a chance to see all the problems with your project instead of just the pluses?

To find out more please head on over to Cybernag’s blog where I was invited to write a guest post. Needless to say, I was honoured to accept as she writes most beautifully about social issues that affect India and Indians.

8May2012. The topic proved to be quite challenging from the responses I received in the comments section. Your input welcome. The link again: http://cybernag.in/2012/05/why-discuss-the-pros-and-cons/

Image courtesy  Microsoft Free Clipart

Thursday, May 3, 2012

What Does Laughter Convey?

Sharmila felt their eyes boring into her. She felt her back stiffen but continued walking, her head high. She knew they thought her proud. That's okay by me, she thought, tossing her head. They are useless bitches anyway. With her mind distracted she didn't notice the stone in her path. She tripped. Arms flailing wildly for a few seconds and legs running uncontrollably to right gravity, she finally managed to regain her balance. Her neck went a slow dull red as she heard them snicker.
Microsoft free clipart

Exactly the same happened to Dina. Except, she fell flat. For a second the fall knocked the breath out of her. Her face screwed up in pain. Making a superhuman effort because she was conscious of the watching group, she laughed. No one laughed until she did. Then helpless laughter took over. One of the group went up to her and smiling, held out her hand to hoist Dina back up again.

What lay behind the laughter? The bunch of girls knew Sharmila thought herself above them. Her airs made them feel slightly spiteful and when they witnessed her stumble and lose face, it was not only unexpected, it was doubly gratifying because her airs were reduced to naught by the sight of her thrashing about helplessly. They knew she felt more humiliated than proud right then. It was the best equaliser - a leveller. They snickered softly amongst themselves aware that she heard.

Dina, on the other hand, didn't have any such airs. She behaved normally with the others. Besides, she fell and might've hurt herself. If nobody would've been there to witness her fall, she would've given herself a bit longer to wince at her physical discomfort. But with witnesses she felt embarrassed and laughed to convey not only that she was alright but that she understood how funny the sight of her landing on her backside might've appeared to them.

When she laughed the bunch of girls realised she was more embarrassed than hurt. Why did that evoke their laughter? Perhaps they felt awkward for having witnessed her pride take a slight beating and tried to get rid of that feeling by laughing; perhaps they understood it could well have been them and the laughter was to express a tiny bit of relief it wasn't; perhaps they felt a sudden sense of relief from anxiety that Dina wasn't hurt. Nobody would've laughed if she were badly hurt. People normally don't laugh at someone's obvious distress. In short, their laughter conveyed a plethora of emotions and, unlike with Sharmila, it was inclusive.

There are many kinds of laughter. There are nuances and layers for each individual type and this discussion covers a few. The best are the ones that express happiness or friendly amusement. Amused laughter conveys appreciation for someone's sense of humour or wit. It could be evoked by a feeling of incongruity, a clever turn of phrase, double or hidden meanings, appreciation for someone's ability to recount a joke well, an unexpected punch line. It could be many things - what tickles the funny bone is as varied as there are individuals on our planet.

Often laughter is tolerant, indulgent or affectionate as with a child. The best release after a harrowing experience is nervous laughter - perhaps you fared better than you expected in an exam or witnessed an old lady narrowly miss being hit by a bus whilst crossing the road; perhaps the ghost story you watched made you uneasy but you don't wish to let on to your friends.

Laughter really does convey many emotions but there are some darker emotions that tell us not all is well with the person laughing. Kids are often guilty of insensitivity and need to be taught gently but firmly that it is cruel to laugh at physical handicaps like stuttering speech or crossed or squint eyes. Let's face it, a few adults are guilty of the same but hopefully, on the whole, society is quick to censure them.

Some people are plain attention seekers and more often than not, their laughter is loud and jarring. Others laugh derisively to convey they don't agree with someone else's opinion. Such laughter stems from a desire to make others feel inferior and unsure of themselves, to poke fun at or bully others. Disrespecting others makes people who indulge in such laughter feel better about themselves. If others rise to the bait and feel less worthy it makes them feel rewarded. It is best not to rise to their bait or even to show you care. Such people (the disrespectful) need a different set of skills to feel good about themselves, improve their self esteem and feel empathetic towards others.

Getting along with others is an important skill to have as human beings are essentially social animals. Parents aren't born with parenting skills and yet need to ensure their kids are empowered with such skills. How do they do that? I've often recommended the book, "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk". It is as good a place as any for parents to start learning such skills and ensure their kids grow up feeling good about themselves.I am sure there is much out there on the net too.

To end, here is what, according to this site, happy laughter does for us. It lifts us up. Life becomes worth living. We experience that vanishing state of being called relaxation. We stress less and enjoy other people more. We become fully present in the moment.Our kids seem to know all this instinctively as they seem to laugh a lot more readily than grownups. It is up to grown ups to preserve that knowledge in their kids so they grow up feeling positive about themselves and others.